Everyone is entitled to their opinions, and in fact, I am not sure it would be possible to stop some people from having them. Lots of them. But there’s a difference between having an opinion and expressing it, and also a difference between having an opinion and believing that somehow your opinion is the only right one to have. Or, worse yet, believing that your opinion entitles you to trying to coerce others into agreeing with you.
For example, let’s say your friend has set her sights on a particular career and is working hard to achieve that goal. If you have concerns about that career (safety, legality, suitability), then you are entitled to express your concerns once or perhaps twice. But only as concerns, and only as your opinion. Beyond that, as long as the career is not self-destructive, it is none of your business what your friend is planning to be, and in fact friendship demands that you be supportive of her choices.
But what if you think it is self-destructive of your friend to pursue her chosen career? First, ask yourself if you are truly seeing things from her perspective, or whether you are instead judging her choices by your own preferences. What you may think is self-destructive may not have any reflection in reality if you aren’t separating your own preferences from your friend’s.
For example, perhaps you have a friend who is really well suited for the corporate lifestyle, but you personally would find that lifestyle stultifying. Don’t tell your friend to abandon her plans if that is your only concern. Read the rest of this entry »